I could not be more excited about being part of the Wheeler Arts Spring Open House. This Friday night 5:30-10:00! If you are in Indy come see me!!!! It sounds like just the thing I need to be a part of to remind myself that even though I feel like it, I am not an 80 year old arthritic woman. Although, when I meet those 80 year old arthritic women, I will give them chocolates and a hug, because it is hard. There will be a band there that from the sounds of their name may sound twangy. I love a nice twangy sound. It felt slightly strange to stuff all of my pillow monsters into a trunk and close it while they were all smiling up at me. It reminded me of earlier this year when I found my childhood doll, Soft Tina, when we were cleaning out my mom's house. When I stumbled upon her in that place under the stairs where things pile up it felt like time stood still. I forgot she even existed until I saw her. My most magical childhood memory involves her. I used to sleep with her, and one Christmas morning I woke up and she was across the room in my chair, looking at me, with a new Christmas outfit on. She didn't have any other outfits, so it really threw me for a loop. I think at that moment, my heart exploded into a million tiny stars at the thought of Santa Claus being so close to me and coming into my room and taking time out of his very busy night to dress my dolly up. You'll think I am a monster, but I couldn't keep her. Cleaning out my mom's house was intense, and to top it off Joseph and I were moving and determined to not rent a Uhaul. I had to remember that I hadn't actually missed Soft Tina in the last 15 years, and that I had the memory and I didn't need the object. That was my rule as I uncovered things that made my heart flitter, "10 years from now, will I miss it?". Too much stuff can weigh a person down. But, when I held Soft Tina over the trash can, I could not physically drop her in it. She hung around for days. I finally had to ask Joseph to do it while I was away, and to make sure I didn't see her looking up at me sadly from under a banana peel or something when I went to throw more things away. Sigh.
2 comments:
hi nichol!
congratulations on the show! i wish i could come. i am so impressed by your story of soft tina. you are so right. we can hold on to too much that weighs on us. the memories are even better. you are so cool.
m
Yo yo Nichol!
I totally get what you mean about throwing away those lost treasures. Even though you know you don't need the object, it's really hard to be the one to throw them away. This may sound weird, but I am that way about my socks. My mom and my friends buy me socks for special occasions, so each time I put on my socks, I think of the person that gave them to me. But they all get holes in them, as socks tend to do, and it is eventually ridiculous to keep them any longer. I can't throw them away though because it feels like I would be throwing away a piece of the person that gave them to me. I have to put them in a paper bag and ask someone to take them down to the dumpster when I'm not looking. That way, since I didn't get rid of them, they're never really gone.
Good luck with your show! I'm sending thoughts of healing your way.
-Christa
Post a Comment